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| faeries & friend doing chores |
As a manners maven, I'm often asked about etiquette in difficult situations. I always answer blithely and with complete confidence, secure in the correctness of my assertions. That is, until I was queried about etiquette in the fae realm. The bold facts are, I dare not venture on this topic, as the mere thought of doing so is fraught with folly. Some faeries expect gifts, others are insulted by them -- the fickleness and capriciousness of those involved makes me shudder to the point that discretion takes hold and I fall silent. And so we will look to cooler, wiser heads to tackle this tricky question.
"Certain things may be taken for granted, however. As creatures of a somewhat... shall we say "less material"... nature than you mortals, our opinions on personal property are both looser than your own, and more strict. If you simply keep in mind that what is mine is mine... *and* what is yours is also mine... you shouldn't face any difficulty in that regard. We're oft accused most unfairly of taking unattended children, for instance. Our answer to this is that if you'd really wanted the babe, you wouldn't have left it all alone crying in the cradle... But... As an honorable people, we do believe in fair trade. Thus we leave one of our own in its place. If you feel that a trade is unfair, compromise can be reached, but do try to be polite about it." ~Maurellan dana'Sidhe, Knight of the Queen of Bright Winter
The invaluable Monstrous.com, provides this sage advice:
Fairy etiquette is a strict and exacting art. Different types of fairies observe many different standards of manners, and the ignorant or uninformed risk many dangers when dealing incorrectly with the fairy folk. Brownies and their ilk (the bwca in Wales, the bodach in Scotland, the Manx fynnoderee, sometimes the pixies of Devon and Cornwall, and the hobs and lobs around the British isles) often perform services for families and farmers.
Domestic brownies will clean and scrub floors and dust shelves, while farm brownies will harvest and thresh corn and other crops. Generally they ask little except that their privacy be observed and that a bowl of milk be left out for them every night. The brownies consider this a fair trade, and will become offended if anything else is offered to them. Many be the farmer who, upon seeing the naked brownie working for him, thought to offer it a new suit of clothes. In every case, the brownie immediately left its service.
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| My personal advice: keep fairy cakes on hand at all times! |
Sometimes the brownie would put on his new suit and think himself to fine and dandy for work; othertimes they felt the clothes were an insult to their previous station. There is also the tale of a miserly Lincolnshire farmer whose brownie grew accustomed to being left a new linen shirt every new year, but then finally the farmer grew tired of the expense and left a coarse sack out. The brownie sang a quick song before it ran away:
Harden, harden, harden hemp!
I will neither grind nor stamp.
Had you given me linen gear,
I had served you many a year,,,,
Thrift may go, bad luck may stay,
I shall travel far away!
from Brigg's Encyclopedia of Fairies
Offending a domestic brownie can have far worse repercussions. Many times the brownie will stick around in the cozy house, but will make itself a nuissance intead of an asset. It will curdle milk, drag furniture across the floor at night, bang pots and plates together, and occasionally even assault the residents. It is almost impossible to rid a home of an ill-tempered brownie, and it is very difficult to win again the favor of an offended brownie.
People who saw the fairies were advised not to look closely, because they resented infringements on their privacy. The need to not offend them could lead to problems: one farmer found that fairies threshed his corn, but the threshing continued after all his corn was gone, and he concluded that they were stealing from his neighbors, leaving him the choice between offending them, dangerous in itself, and profiting by the theft.
And for the wee ones:
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