Manners a la Mode

Protocol v. Etiquette v. Manners

2012-01-21T11:25:00.000-08:00

State dinner at the White House

As with so many things of the same ilk, confusion arises when it comes to the social graces and pleasantries. When differentiating between Protocol, Etiquette and Manners, corporate etiquette instructor Cindy Grosso sums up her take in a simple memorable way:
Manners - WHAT you're supposed to do.
Etiquette - HOW you are supposed to do it.
Protocol - WHEN you are to di it.
And in the quick video I viewed she mentioned that these niceties are "important for business" in order to create a "distraction-free environment".
Makes good sense to me.

Yet, it didn't quite fit my understanding of the definitions and differences -- then again I deal in social, not corporate, etiquette.

Here is how the dictionary defines the terms in question:

pro·to·col

State dinner during the Nixon administration

[proh-tuh-kawl, -kol, -kohl]
noun
1.the customs and regulations dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence, and etiquette.

et·i·quette
[et-i-kit, -ket]
noun
1. conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.

man·ners
[man-ers]
noun
1. a.the prevailing customs, ways of living, and habits of a people, class, period, etc.; mores: The novels of Jane Austen are concerned with the manners of her time.
b.ways of behaving with reference to polite standards; social comportment: That child has good manners.

As I quote from Emily Post ad nauseum,

"Beneath its myriad rules, the fundamental purpose of etiquette is to make the world a pleasanter place to live in, and you a more pleasant person to live with."

So while I agree wholeheartedly with Ms. Grosso regarding the 'what' of manners, to me etiquette is about the WHY. And the reason we observe manners is in order to make those around us feel at ease, welcome and valued.

Protocol is more about how to deal with those from other cultures and countries.

The final word on all three of these related concepts is respect If you treat others with respect and do your best to observe their customs, you will find that faux-pas may not only be forgiven, but of no consequence.

Oh, and that tiny little fork on the right? It's for shellfish {wink}

A Pomander by any other name

2012-01-12T17:02:00.000-08:00

This irresistible 'apple' brings kisses, not curses
by Joie de Vivre

Whether as a closet or drawer sachet or hostess gift, the making of pomanders is relaxing and yields lasting delight.

"Throughout history, the importance of scent has never been denied. Mystical and powerful, scent was an offering, a force of attraction and a curse. The pomander, a ball filled with perfumes worn from the Middle Ages onward, was a form of protection against sickness and death.

Origin
The word "pomander" originates from the French "pomme d'ambre." A common interpretation of this phrase is "apple of ambergris," referring to the wax substance used as a base in pomander recipes. Others take the phrase to mean "apple of amber" or "golden apple," as in the fragrant citrus fruits exchanged during holidays for good luck.

Purpose
The pomander became popular during the Middle Ages when the black death and other ailments ran rampant. Sanitation during the era was lamentably lacking. The streets and even some homes were strewn with filth, bodily fluids and the discarded remnants of past meals. People thought that the cause of their problems lay in the resulting stench lingering about the city. The belief went that the pleasant scent of a pomander could repel the disease in the air.

Recipe
Several recipes for pomanders survive from the era. To the base of ambergris, musk, civet, rose water, and other perfumes and spices were added. The mix would then be inserted into the pomander's container. A pomander could be worn around the neck or waist. Many women attached them to their girdles.

Adornment

Both men and women wore pomanders, most of whom hailed from the elite classes of society. Queen Elizabeth I is frequently depicted wearing one, as are other nobles and notables of the day. People took great pride in their pomanders. Simple pomanders were made of wood, while the most stunning examples were worked in silver or gold, studded with precious stones, and etched with intricate designs. Some pomanders were divided into sections, similar to an orange, into which its wearer would place several different scents.

Evolution
As time wore on, the pomander began to take on the "golden apple" interpretation. By the 18th century, a pomander was more often than not an orange studded with cloves and other spices. These made for popular gifts during Christmas and New Years. Many people make this type of pomander today in order to scent their homes and clothing." {Read more: Pomanders History | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5378191_pomanders-history.html#ixzz1jIJWn6Gl}

The following is a how-to video on the making of silk pomanders

The bee that never stings

2011-11-27T07:32:00.001-08:00

Socializing and sharing through textile togetherness
by Joie de Vivre

Many hands not only make light work, they also make fast friendships. Throughout the centuries, whether for raising a barn, building a road, logging, or spinning, the gathering known as the 'bee' has enabled people to get difficult or tedious work done while strengthening neighborly ties. This is especially true of the quilting bee, a joint activity that has taken on special significance for participants around the world.

"In addition to their function as bedding, quilts also served as records of family or community history, observations of surrounding landscape, and documentation of life cycle events such as births and marriages." ~Quilting Groups: Creating Through Camaraderie (Collaborations: Drawn Together)

Quilting, the sewing craft whereby layers of materials are joined together, often as a patchwork of individual squares, has a long and colorful history. Though primarily intended as a means of warmth, these sometimes elaborate textile creations are also used as decorative wall-hangings, as memorials of loved ones who have passed, and even as media for political statements.

An example of the well-known
Friendship Quilt

Indeed, this quiet art is far from being a relic of a time before electricity.

A search on Meetup.com revealed a number of groups dedicated to quilting, all "within a 25 mile radius" of my home. The fellowship weaved by these groups is so tangible, one need not even be in the physical company of others to glean its benefits, as the virtual online quilting bee bears out. It then should come as no surprise that the best known type of quilt is aptly called a friendship quilt.

Whether one engages in quilting as a craft art, as a thrifty alternative to purchasing bedding, for its social aspects, or as a means of paying tribute to a dear one departed, she will find the activity to be relaxing, satisfying and life-affirming.

"Friends are threads of gold in the quilt of life....Good friends are like Quilts. They age with you, yet never lose their warmth." ~Anon

Gramma Ginevie's Pacific Jello Salad

2011-11-15T15:00:00.000-08:00

Etiquette isn't just about knowing which table implement to use. It's primarily about making others feel warm and fuzzy and comfortable; and nothing does this better than by observing family holiday traditions.

This is a gone-by-the-wayside recipe my family used to love at Thanksgiving. It's a bit more tropical than the standard horseradish/cottage cheese/nut version.

Ingredients

1 Cup boiling water
1 pkg (6 oz.) lime gelatin
1 (9 oz.) can pineapple rings, drained
Juice from canned pineapple
1 large banana mashed
1 Cup heavy cream, whipped

Directions

Dissolve gelatin in water
Add pineapple juice
Chill until slightly thickened
Beat until frothy
Fold in mashed banana then whipped cream
Chill until set
Unmold onto a plate lined with lettuce leaves
Garnish around base with halved pineapple rings

Serves 6

Cheesy Sausage Stars

2011-11-01T23:03:00.000-07:00

A little something for your holiday entertaining

Crispy baked wonton cups are filled with a cheesy sausage, onion, and garlic mixture. These little gems make a great finger food appetizer for parties or any other special occasion.

Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes
Yield: 48 appetizers

Ingredients

1 pound bulk sausage
1/2 cup chopped sweet red bell pepper
1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1-1/2 cups grated sharp Cheddar cheese
1-1/2 cups grated Monterey Jack cheese
1/2 cup ranch dressing
1 can (2.25 ounces) sliced black (ripe) olives or 1/4 cup chopped
Vegetable oil spray
1 package (48 pieces) wonton wrappers

Preparation

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F
In a heavy skillet, saute sausage, red pepper,onion, and garlic, stirring often to break apart, until sausage is cooked through and crumbly. Drain grease and let cool to room temperature
While sausage mixture cools, spray non-stick mini-muffin pans with vegetable oil. Place one wonton in each mini-muffin slot and spray again with vegetable oil
Bake 5 minutes until light golden brown. Remove baked wontons to a foil-lined baking sheet
Reduce heat to 400 F
Combine cooled sausage mixture, Cheddar cheese, Monterey Jack cheese, ranch dressing, and olives
Mix well
Fill each wonton cup with sausage mixture, using all of the mixture
Bake filled wontons an additional 5 to 10 minutes until melted and bubbly
Let rest for 10 minutes, then serve warm

by Peggy Trowbridge Filippone, About.com Guide

Pool Etiquette - in and out of the drink

2011-09-17T11:18:00.000-07:00

How to Pool Your Manners
by Joie de Vivre

Oh the backlash of backsplash. Do you know people who are all wet when it comes to how to behave at a pool party? Well here are some tried and true tips on how to get them out of hot water.

PARTY TIME

Set a good example for the young tadpoles in your midst:

That means no running (yes, adults are guilty of this too)
No cannonballing within a huge radius of anyone who may want to stay dry
No excessive or aggressive splashing
No 'undoing' of bikini tops or startling of those whose tops are already undone
No glass ware or objects of any kind -- it's just not worth the risk
No throwing things at people unless engaged in a game that does not affect non-participants
No extreme so-called "just for fun" drowning play
No emissions of bodily fluids if you please

TONING TIME

Far from a fad, swimming provides one of most beneficial and least injuring workouts available. As such, it is a perennial favorite of fitness folk with well-populated public and gym pools. Please observe all of the above as well as the following

Mind your personal grooming and do not use the pool as a way to get clean - in other words, shower first!
Wear the appropriate attire - that which is made for swimming, not the gym floor, especially if you have just worked out
Scooch! Most lap pools have lanes marked for slow, medium and fast swimmers. Be realistic when assessing your skill level and choosing a lane
Take your chit chat topside. There are plenty of places to enjoy some friendly conversation but if you would like to do so in a pool, make it a private one so as not to interfere with the workout or focus of swimmers
Do not dive or jump in - just slide in and wait for a break in the swim traffic to push off and get going
While 2 is company, 3 needn't be a crowd. If you must share a lane, you can do so quite easily. With 2 swimmers in one lane you may either circle or choose to stay to one side. With 3 or more, circling the lane will work best. In America this means you stay to the right and circle counter clockwise
Don't touch swimming equipment that is placed at the pool's edge. Chances are it belongs to or is being used by one of the swimmers in the pool

TRAINING TIME

Training is serious business, especially for those trying to break records or improve skills. Here are a couple of additional ways to assist fellow swimmers in achieving their personal best:

Slower swimmers (like me) should yield to faster swimmers and stay to the right allowing faster swimmers to pass on the left
Different strokes are for different lanes. If you are sharing a lane please limit your activity to freestyle swimming
If you need a respite it's best to catch your breath in a corner of your lane so as not to affect traffic
Push off underwater to minimize the wave impact on other swimmers
If there is a lap counter or clock, do your best not to block its view

So go ahead, dive in the deep end... unless there are No Diving signs posted, of course.

Disentangling Netiquette

2011-07-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

Time and again I have been posed questions concerning online etiquette and have always shied away from answering, claiming ignorance. Given that Social Etiquette is my area of alleged expertise, I have routinely been surprised when queried about this topic.... until it dawned on me that someone who participates in Social Media as heavily as I do really ought to bone up on the protocols. To my surprise I found very little information on 'netiquette', save this missive from Forbes, to ABC News, to you!

By Elizabeth Anne Winters, Forbes.com

November 20, 2010

Have you ever wondered whether or not to take that call at the dinner table? Or what guidelines should be observed when replying to an e-mail message?

Good manners never go out of style, and courtesy must now extend far beyond face-to-face encounters into the depths of our technology-based world. Here is a list of the 10 biggest electronic etiquette mistakes of our day. These seemingly minor mishaps are more common and more detrimental than most would assume:

No. 1: Treating your cellphone as your top priority.

We've all been there. You are at dinner or at the movies and you see that blinking light on your BlackBerry. Unconsciously you pick it up and begin responding to the list of e-mails that has accumulated over the past two minutes.

But when you take a call in the presence of a client or friend, you are communicating, "This e-mail or caller is more important than you." If you are expecting an important call, let the person know in advance, and excuse yourself before taking a brief call. If the call requires longer than one minute, arrange for a more convenient time to complete the call. Regardless of how boring the meeting may be, do not continuously check your phone for e-mails or text messages. It is not only rude to your company but also demonstrates nervous, compulsive behavior.

No. 2: Forgetting those around you can (and will) read your laptop screen.

You never know when your boss (or spouse) will be walking behind you and see that you are planning your next vacation instead of finishing your status report.

Never check your e-mail, pull up a website, play an electronic game, or pull up work unrelated to the purpose of the meeting. Assume those next to you can read your screen. For security reasons, never leave your laptop unsecured.

No. 3: Placing or receiving calls from a noisy location.

Nothing is more annoying, not to mention rude, to the caller (or those who just happen to be sitting next to you at Starbucks) than you screaming into the phone, repeating the same line three times.

Try to eliminate all background noise (whether from people, audio or poor phone technology) and be especially mindful to use the "mute" feature when possible. Should you need to sneeze or cough, quickly turn your head and cover both your mouth and the phone receiver. Do not cradle the phone between your neck and shoulder. It not only distorts your voice, but can eventually cause physical damage.

No. 4: An ineffective voicemail greeting--personal or professional.

I'll admit, rapping your voicemail is pretty catchy, but not the most professional way to entice people to leave you a message. Please leave the rapping to Lil' Wayne, and record a brief, to-the-point message.

How you answer the phone on your voicemail is just as important as how you would answer in person. You are making a lasting impression. Wait at least one second after the beep before starting your greeting. Be upbeat, speak in a normal tone, and never use humor. Unless your profession is comedy and you change your message everyday, avoid jokes, humor and satire on your answering machine.

No. 5: Sloppy e-mails with grammatical errors.

These days an e-mail sent to one person can be forwarded around the world (and back to your employer) in a matter of seconds. Take the time to write every e-mail you send out with thought--because you never know what inbox it may end up in.

Be specific and precise in every e-mail communication sent. Include the exact date instead of "tomorrow" and exactly what "this" or "that" is referring to. Your subject line is should convey the content of the message and not your emotions. Pay attention to the tone conveyed through use of lower/upper case. Avoid the overuse of punctuation and let your words provide emphasis. Turn your spell check on. Your high school English teacher will thank you.

No. 6: Outdated LinkedIn, Facebook or other social network profiles.

The first thing 50% of social media users in America do when they wake up is check a social network. You never know what you missed overnight in your followers' lives. You may be interested in everyone else's life online, but be sure that your profiles are up-to-date and represent what you want to share with the world.

Update your profile regularly and join groups selectively, as they create a lasting impression. Go on the offensive and get rid of digital dirt. Review sites and personal blogs you may be tied to. Do not practice nonprofessional habits on LinkedIn, such as sharing personal details through a status update (save that for Facebook). Do congratulate others on a new job or promotion.

No. 7: Mistaken e-mail attachments.

Save the embarrassment of sending your boss a photo of your vacation to the Florida Keys instead of your expense report. Always double-check your attachments before hitting send--you don?t want your boss thinking you make too much money!

Remember everything you send is saved--permanently--somewhere. Be careful not to send your personal budget when you intend to send your department's budget. Only attach files that are essential--be considerate of space on your recipient?s PC.

No. 8: Inappropriate postings on social media.

When you post a photo from the company Christmas party or a status about your rude client, realize that once you click "Share," it will be on the unforgiving waves of the Internet forever. Be sure to reevaluate your comments, because you never know who is watching.

The messages your send into cyberspace are not to be taken lightly. They become part of your reputation and can greatly affect your future. Be careful where you tweet. It's out of place at solemn occasions like funerals, court hearings, etc. Remember that, as clients search your name, first impressions are lasting.

No. 9: Allowing an electronic thank you to replace a handwritten note.

You may think this is old school, but go back and ask former employers what they most appreciate after an interview. I bet not many will respond: "I got a nice e-mail, to go along with the other 400 e-mails I got today." Stand out in the crowd and go back to the lost art of letter writing--if you still know how to use a pen!

In the electronic age a personal note goes much further than a quick e-mail. Take the time to draft a handwritten note at every chance to convey celebration, sympathy or appreciation to friends and associates. Keep a stash of personalized stationery close to your desk. A thank you e-mail can supplement--but never replace--the always-in-style, forever classic handwritten note.

No. 10: Ignoring missed calls or e-mails for long periods of time.

Voicemails are becoming a thing of the past thanks to the instantaneous gratification of texting. However, voicemails are far from obsolete, and your caller deserves a timely, respectful response.

Do not allow a message to remain on your voicemail for more than 24 hours. When you receive an important e-mail, give a quick response that it has been received, and let the person know approximately when you will be replying in more depth. Never respond too quickly to an e-mail that upsets you. If you feel annoyed or angry, wait at least one day to reply.

I am afraid I would fail a few of these directives. For example, these days I prefer electronic communiques to lush greeting cards or thoughtfully handwritten notes? "Why?" you may ask incredulously. It is because as much as I adore (and have collected) gorgeous stationery items, I am now more interested in going green, 'saving trees', and cutting down on my physical clutter. An electronically-delivered note comes with the ability to save and view it online anytime I choose - rather like a virtual gift that keeps on giving.

My own take on tech etiquette primarily concerns privacy. I am not (yet) completely comfortable with giving out my location at any given moment via computer of smart phone... especially if the location post includes a photo of me and/or others. There are just too many things that can go wrong when strangers know both where you are and where you are not. Hence, privacy settings.

Friends don't let friends text drunk

Also, don't post drunk.... or mad, for that matter. The fallout from these activities can be far-reaching, and lethal. I have just recently immersed myself in the whole personal posting and blogging thing... and have managed to get myself into a pickle or two in the process, awash with low-level regret.

In our increasingly fast-paced world it can be difficult to find the time and resources to put our best foot forward each and every moment. But when communicating and expressing yourself via technology, where slip-ups can instantly go viral, an awareness of your surroundings and consideration of those in your social media circle can go far in preventing messy mistakes.

And by all means, when dealing with sensitive personal messages or business emails, read twice or at least think twice before hitting send!

But, Why a Pineapple?

2011-06-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

by Joie de Vivre
'Welcome' in any language

The modern day pineapple (known scientifically as Ananas comosus) has its centuries old roots in South America, somewhere in the vicinity of Paraguay and/or Brazil. But it took rockstar explorer Christopher Columbus to launch the '*princess of fruits' into the European limelight. Columbus encountered the pineapple in Guadeloupe in 1493 during their second voyage to the New World. They referred to it as 'piña', owing to its exterior resemblance to a pinecone, to which the English added "apple" because of it's juicy fruit center. It's aromatic scent and decisive flavor made it an instant hit wherever it traveled.

Painting by Hendrik Danckerts, 1675
Charles II of England presented with the first pineapple
grown in England by his royal gardener, John Rose

"The Renaissance Europe to which Columbus returned with his discoveries was a civilization largely bereft of common sweets. Sugar refined from cane was a rare commodity imported at great cost from the middle east and orient. Fresh fruit was also a rare item; orchard-grown fruit being available.... into the 1600s, the pineapple remained so uncommon and coveted a commodity that King Charles II of England posed for an official portrait in an act then symbolic of royal privilege -- receiving a pineapple as a gift." (http://www.levins.com/pineapple.html)

It took approximately two centuries for Europeans to master the art of growing the tropical pineapple. By the mid-1600s it was being successfully produced in “hot-houses” in Holland and England. Soon thereafter, the pineapple was introduced to Africa, Asia, and around the globe.

Back to the Americas

"Across the ocean, the pineapple took on other symbolic meanings in England's American colonies. The colonies were then a land of small, primitive towns and settlements where homes served as the hubs of most community activity. Visiting was the primary means of entertainment, cultural intercourse and news dissemination. The concept of hospitality--the warmth, charm and style with which guests were taken into the home--was a central element of the society's daily emotional life." (http://www.levins.com/pineapple.html)

"American colonists began importing the pineapple from the Caribbean in the 17th century. Due to its seemingly exotic qualities and rareness, the pineapple soon became a symbol of hospitality in early America. Because trade routes between America and Caribbean islands were often slow and perilous, it was considered a significant achievement for a host to procure a ripe pineapple for guests. Similarly, some accounts tell of New England sea captains who, upon returning from trade routes in the Caribbean or Pacific, would place a pineapple outside their homes as a symbol of a safe return." (library.ucf.edu/rosen/pineapple.asp)

Unsurprisingly, the pineapple's rarity and attendant expense, its exotic nature and its attractive looks, with it's patterned exterior and grand plumage, made it the natural focal point of food displays. At a meal's end the carving and serving of the succulent fruit served as the finale to the celebration.... rather like the ceremonial carving of a holiday turkey.

Creative Food Display in Colonial America

"Creative food display--the main entertainment during a formal home visit--was a means by which a woman declared both her personality and her family's status. Within the bounds of their family's means, hostesses sought to outdo each other in the creation of memorable, fantasy-like dining room scenes.

At such feasts, tabletops resembled small mountain ranges of tiered, pyramided and pedestaled foodstuffs often drizzled and webbed in sugar, studded with china figurines, festooned with flowers and interwoven with garlands of pine and laurel. Dinners were extravaganzas of visual delights, novel tastes, new discoveries and congenial conversation that went on for hours.

So sought after were the prickly fruits that colonial confectioners sometimes rented them to households by the day. Later, the same fruit was sold to other, more affluent clients who actually ate it. As you might imagine, hostesses would have gone to great lengths to conceal the fact that the pineapple that was the visual apogee of their table display and a central topic of their guests' conversation was only rented...

During the last century, the art of food display centered around the pineapple has faded to a quaint craft now largely associated with the making of certain kinds of Christmas decorations. These holiday fabrications are one of the few vestiges of an era when all life literally revolved around the dining room table; a less complicated era that left us the enduring icon of the colonial pineapple, a truly American fruit symbolizing our founding society's abiding commitment to hospitality as well as its fondest memories of families, friends and good times." (http://www.levins.com/pineapple.html)

In addition to serving as edible table decor, the pineapple and its pattern found its way into all manner of 18th and 19th century decorative work adorning home and hearth; from bed posts, table pedestals and table linens to concrete entryway pillars, brass weather vanes, door knockers and umbrella finials.

Bearing Fruit

In America, commercial production of pineapples began to bloom in Florida in the late 19th century, making Florida one of the world's most prolific producer's of pineapple for a time. By the 1930s, Florida producers fell victim to climatic change and competition as central America and Hawaii took over as the chief growing areas.

Though the pineapple is said to have been part of Hawaiian culture since the 1600's, it was not canned there until about 1885. By the 1920's, the pineapple had become Hawaii's largest industry, thanks in great part to Jim Dole's Hawaiian Pineapple Company, founded in 1901. And until just recently, Hawaii remained the world's largest producer of canned pineapples, with central America and Asia now vying that distinction.

Fresh Fruit

Though the pineapple is no longer considered a rarity or luxury, it still holds its own on the list of top ten most popular fruits.... and it is my personal fave! Its image can be found in wallpaper, topping stationery - especially 'at-home' cards, in lamps and chandeliers, even key fobs, as illustrated by the bejeweled golden pineapple by Louis Vuitton which serves as this blog's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Manners-a-la-Mode/118060644944647

Whether fresh or canned, sliced, chunked, crushed or tid-bitted, the ananas comosus and its iconic image of warmth and welcome are sure never to spoil.

* In his 1595 travelogue Discoverie of the Large, Rich, and Bewtiful Empyre of Guiana, Sir Walter Ralegh wrote of, “the great abundance of Pinas, the princesse of fruits that grow vnder the Sun'.

Sources:

http://library.ucf.edu/rosen/pineapple.php

http://ezinearticles.com/?Pineapple---The-Universal-Sign-of-Hospitality&id=1044420

http://www.frontgate.com/wcsstore/images/Frontgate/moreinfo/Pineapple.html

http://www.levins.com/pineapple.html

Humanity's Universal Truism

2011-05-31T14:18:00.000-07:00

by Joie de Vivre

My last month plus has been spent knee-deep creating a 6-week beauty-from-the-inside-out 'shapeover' program called Love Yourself Lovely, Love Yourself Lean. Members have joined our group on Facebook; they contribute to the page, inspire their fellow members, share diet and exercise tips etc. It is indeed a lovely experience.... but not the experience I expected.

I had initially hoped to get in shape after a long winter's hibernation during which I became something of an inactive blob. My 'going green' statement of getting rid of my car did not help in-so-much-as I no longer have a way to the gym -- and it shows!!! So I figured I would join my LYLLYL lovelies and dive into a new regimen of healthier food and fun fitness. What I did not anticipate was the simple and profound internal change I would experience in the process.

My 'Epiblog' posted to sum up what I learned while doing research on diet and exercise touches on the theme on which I now expound... that after reading more than a thousand articles on fitness and health it all boiled down to one thing. Watching your cholesterol? Nope. Cutting out white flour and sugar? Nope. Gasp.... could it be the mother of all evils du jour, HFCS? (That's high fructose corn syrup for those who have escaped it's notoriety). Hard to believe, but, no.

I learned that the secret to health and wellness, the golden key, the golden ticket, is the Golden Rule. It was cited again and again as a sure-fire guarantee to physical well-being and happiness. It serves as the foundation of most major religions and cultures, regardless of location or era, and to me, is as universal a law and irresistible a force as gravity.

TeachingValues.com, a site dedicated to character education for children, shares the religious text sources of this globally-embraced concept: (http://www.teachingvalues.com/goldenrule.html)

Christianity	All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:1
Confucianism	Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state. Analects 12:2
Buddhism	Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Udana-Varga 5,1
Hinduism	This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you. Mahabharata 5,1517
Islam	No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself. Sunnah
Judaism	What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary. Talmud, Shabbat 3id
Taoism	Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss. Tai Shang Kan Yin P’ien
Zoroastrianism	That nature alone is good which refrains from doing another whatsoever is not good for itself. Dadisten-I-dinik, 94,5

While these sage words and their sentiment are inspiring in all their iterations, they are not worth more than the rice paper or papyrus or goat skin on which they are written if not translated into altruistic action. But how does one go about expressing such do-goodery in today's road rage frivolous lawsuit crazy society? ZenHabits.net, a blog I kept coming across during the past weeks' research, that has since become a fave, suggests some easy to implement ideas on how to rack up those karma points. Here is author Leo Babauta's post in full:

18 Practical Tips for Living the Golden Rule

Every Thursday is Happiness Day on Zen Habits.

“…thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”, Leviticus 19:18

One of the few rules I try to live my life by, and fail every day trying, is the Golden Rule.

I love the simplicity of the Golden Rule, its tendency to make I interact with happier … and its tendency to make me happier as well.

It’s true: the rule of treating others as you would want to be treated in their place will ultimately lead to your own happiness.

Let’s say that you apply the Golden Rule in all of your interactions with other people, and you help your neighbors, you treat your family with kindness, you go the extra mile for your co-workers, you help a stranger in need.

Now, those actions will undoubtedly be good for the people you help and are kind to … but you’ll also notice a strange thing. People will treat you better too, certainly. Beyond that, though, you will find a growing satisfaction in yourself, a belief in yourself, a knowledge that you are a good person and a trust in yourself.

Those are not small dividends. They are huge. And for that reason — not even considering that our world will be a better place if more people live by this rule — I recommend you make the Golden Rule a focus of your actions, and try to live by it to the extent that you can.

I will admit that there are strong arguments against the Golden Rule, that there are exceptions and logic arguments that the Golden Rule, taken to extremes, falls apart. I’m not concerned about that stuff. The truth is, on a day-to-day basis, living by the Golden Rule will make you a better person, will make those around you happier, and will make the community you live in a better place.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at some practical tips for living the Golden Rule in your daily life:

Practice empathy. Make it a habit to try to place yourself in the shoes of another person. Any person. Loved ones, co-workers, people you meet on the street. Really try to understand, to the extent that you can, what it is like to be them, what they are going through, and why they do what they do.
Practice compassion. Once you can understand another person, and feel what they’re going through, learn to want to end their suffering. And when you can, take even a small action to somehow ease their suffering in some way.
How would you want to be treated? The Golden Rule doesn’t really mean that you should treat someone else exactly as you’d want them to treat you … it means that you should try to imagine how they want to be treated, and do that. So when you put yourself in their shoes, ask yourself how you think they want to be treated. Ask yourself how you would want to be treated if you were in their situation. John F. Kennedy did that during the controversial days of de-segregation in the 1960s, asking white Americans to imagine being looked down upon and treated badly based only on the color of their skin. He asked them to imagine how they would want to be treated if they were in that situation, and act accordingly towards the blacks.
Be friendly. When in doubt, follow this tip. It’s usually safe to be friendly towards others. Of course, there are times when others just don’t want someone acting friendly towards them, and you should be sensitive to that. You should also be friendly within the bounds of appropriateness. But who doesn’t like to feel welcome and wanted?
Be helpful. This is probably one of the weaknesses of our society. Sure, there are many people who go out of their way to be helpful, and I applaud them. But in general there is a tendency to keep to yourself, and to ignore the problems of others. Don’t be blind to the needs and troubles of others. Look to help even before you’re asked.
Be courteous in traffic. Another weakness of our society. There are few times when we are as selfish as when we’re driving. We don’t want to give up the right of way, we cut people off, we honk and curse. Perhaps it’s the isolation of the automobile. We certainly don’t act that rude in person, most of the time. So try to be courteous in traffic.
Listen to others. Another weakness: we all want to talk, but very few of us want to listen. And yet, we all want to be listened to. So take the time to actually listen to another person, rather than just wait your turn to talk. It’ll also go a long way to helping you understand others.
Overcome prejudice. We all have our prejudices, whether it’s based on skin color, attractiveness, height, age, gender … it’s human nature, I guess. But try to see each person as an individual human being, with different backgrounds and needs and dreams. And try to see the commonalities between you and that person, despite your differences.
Stop criticism. We all have a tendency to criticize others, whether it’s people we know or people we see on television. However, ask yourself if you would like to be criticized in that person’s situation. The answer is almost always “no”. So hold back your criticism, and instead learn to interact with others in a positive way.
Don’t control others. It’s also rare that people want to be controlled. Trust me. So don’t do it. This is a difficult thing, especially if we are conditioned to control people. But when you get the urge to control, put yourself in that person’s shoes. You would want freedom and autonomy and trust, wouldn’t you? Give that to others then.
Be a child. The urge to control and criticize is especially strong when we are adults dealing with children. In some cases, it’s necessary, of course: you don’t want the child to hurt himself, for example. But in most cases, it’s not. Put yourself in the shoes of that child. Remember what it was like to be a child, and to be criticized and controlled. You probably didn’t like it. How would you want to be treated if you were that child?
Send yourself a reminder. Email yourself a daily reminder (use Google Calendar or memotome.com, for example) to live your life by the Golden Rule, so you don’t forget.
Tie a string to your finger. Or give yourself some other reminder throughout the day so that you don’t forget to follow the Golden Rule in all interactions with others. Perhaps a fake golden ring on your keychain? A tattoo? :)
Post it on your wall or make it your home page. The Golden Rule makes a great mantra, and a great poster.
Rise above retaliation. We have a tendency to strike back when we’re treated badly. This is natural. Resist that urge. The Golden Rule isn’t about retaliation. It’s about treating others well, despite how they treat you. Does that mean you should be a doormat? No … you have to assert your rights, of course, but you can do so in a way where you still treat others well and don’t strike back just because they treated you badly first. Remember Jesus’ wise (but difficult to follow) advice: turn the other cheek.
Be the change. Gandhi famously told us to be the change we want to see in the world. Well, we often think of that quote as applying to grand changes, such as poverty and racism and violence. Well, sure, it does apply to those things … but it also applies on a much smaller scale: to all the small interactions between people. Do you want people to treat each other with more compassion and kindness? Then let it start with you. Even if the world doesn’t change, at least you have.
Notice how it makes you feel. Notice how your actions affect others, especially when you start to treat them with kindness, compassion, respect, trust, love. But also notice the change in yourself. Do you feel better about yourself? Happier? More secure? More willing to trust others, now that you trust yourself? These changes come slowly and in small increments, but if you pay attention, you’ll see them.
Say a prayer. There is a prayer on the Golden Rule, attributed to Eusebius of Caesarea, that would be worth saying once a day. It includes the following lines, among others: “May I gain no victory that harms me or my opponent.
May I reconcile friends who are mad at each other.
May I, insofar as I can, give all necessary
help to my friends and to all who are in need.
May I never fail a friend in trouble.” (http://zenhabits.net/18-practical-tips-for-living-the-golden-rule/)

My own prayer is to do a better job of putting the Golden Rule into practice daily and to use it as a springboard for this blog, since it encompasses the spirit of, and reason for, good manners.

As Emily Post herself said, "Beneath its myriad rules, the fundamental purpose of etiquette is to make the world a pleasanter place to live in, and you a more pleasant person to live with."